Pearlville

Dead

2011-01-27T20:32:00.001-02:00

Pearlville ends. Suddenly and without fanfare.

The Pearl Art Prize

2010-12-22T10:43:00.000-02:00

I have been away for some time, plotting in the basement. I am planning to make a video presentation of Operation Pusscat. I have ordered a pointer with a light on the end. I have designed a poster and logo for what will be "THE PEARL ART PRIZE", and that is about it. This paltry amount of work does not really excuse my lack of activity but Christmas is approaching, my mind has been on other things. Christmas is the only event that makes me feel more inadequate and disappointed than putting on an exhibition. But I still love it. So Merry Christmas readers and here is the logo.

What's in a Name?

2010-12-17T09:41:00.001-02:00

William Shatner taught me a lot about what it is to grow older. I watched avidly as he wrestled men in rubber suits (often losing his shirt) and women in green body makeup (often losing his shirt). At this time he was James T Kirk, a laughing loving fighting hero. Later they swapped his initials and he became T J Hooker. Thankfully he no longer lost his shirt, although occasionally his hair would lift. Thomas Jefferson Hooker (Presidential? American?) James Tiberius Kirk (Imperial? American?). Miss AFJ Dover, when her ribs are healed, can perform an excellent "TJ Hooker roll" to steal the duvet I wouldn't call it elegant but it is effective.
She is sitting next to me at the moment writing her PHD while I ponder the rejection email I received from the fair Fiona at Standpoint. At first I paid it no mind, merely filing it in my (quite full) rejection folder. Since then, however, it has begun to trouble me. Why did I receive an email when it stated on the entry form that no further communication would be entered into? Miss Dover did not receive a rejection email. Indeed because of this she still holds some hope (a little bag is packed by the front door) calling out "Standpoint!" as every email arrives. All I can think is that, in my old age, I have become, like Mel Gibson (sort of), an artworld paranoiac. Did anyone else get that email?

This is another matter. At work we have just received these instructions on filling out the electronic registers. It looks straightforward enough.

Electric Moving Shadow Garden

2010-12-15T17:35:00.001-02:00

Today's title is stolen from Andrew Bracey's essay in the "Unspooling" publication, a rather smart little book that arrived without fanfare yesterday.

It is a mistranslation for 'cinema' from Mandarin Chinese. I love these sort of (literal in this case) Chinese whispers. Apparently he wanted to use it for the title of 'Unspooling' but wasn't allowed. Now I want to make an electric moving shadow garden in my basement studio with strange flowers and flickering creatures. I shall experiment on bodies from the local morgue and seek out quickening fluids and etherial breath.

I finally had an email from Standpoint today. They had many excellent applications (not mine). The inestimable Mr Bracey was interviewed today, if he gets it Miss Dover and I will press our faces against his studio window for days and days on end. So now to read the rest of "Unspooling artists and cinema" and sulk into my tea.

No Future

2010-12-13T17:43:00.001-02:00

Every time an email arrives my phone emits a self satisfied burp and I, eager for adulation, rush to see who it is from. All last week (and this) each time we heard this prefiguration of joy Miss Dover or I would yell out "Standpoint" and collapse into hysterics. Easily humoured we were well aware (especially as the week wore on) that Standpoint were not calling and we would not have to do a presentation on Wednesday. One of the non STANDPOINT! emails was from M's new Italian (or French?possibly Swiss) intern Miss Pietrobon who sent me a request for titles, sizes and prices for the work selected for the London Art Fair. She ended her email with:

"I hope to receive a quick response from you."

So I thought I'd better crack on. A couple of hours with a tape measure and a thesaurus and I was there. During the process I remembered my art teacher at school. Mr Hiddon was a science fiction illustrator, a fact he kept under wraps. It was only when I spotted his name next to a beautiful painting of a derelict spaceship that I realised he had another life beyond the rule of terror in his art room. The ship hung in space (as they do) but out of every window and hatch squeezed some sort of blob-like alien plant life. I titled some of my foam filled cars in his honour.

I couldn't find an image of this ship so here is something else. It isn't by Mr Hiddon, I think he would prefer it that way.

For Legal Reasons the Contents of this Post May be Fictional

2010-12-11T17:24:00.001-02:00

I learnt recently that you can have just about anything printed on an AA sign, "Nazi rally" or "Hamster Baiting" might prove difficult but there is certainly no need tell the truth. In fact if there is an AA sign in place perhaps whatever it indicates will come into being. In Ipswich, for some time now, there have been a number of such AA signs pointing towards the "Saatchi Gallery" apparently housed in the old art school on High Street. It is a new venture and does indeed have a show of work by Saatchi artists which ends in January. Next up is an exhibition of famous-ish and not so famous ex students and teachers who worked or attended the art school in it's glory days.
Yesterday a friend of mine accidentally ended up at Juergen Teller's birthday party. I don't think he wanted to be there and managed only to acquire a number of excruciating memories. ( of which, accidentally head-butting Sadie Coles when going in for a kiss, and having his exquisite gingerbread house compared to Heston Blumenthal's life size one are but two). Soon he was mercifully ignored and was able to overhear Sarah Lucas and others laughing hysterically about Ipswich's "Saatchi Gallery" and wondering what it was. "I must ask Charles when I see him tomorrow" says one. Perhaps the signs won't be up much longer.

M

2010-12-11T07:05:00.001-02:00

I hear car doors and children, probably off to church or Christmas shopping. Miss Dover still sleeps. My night tremors keep her awake so I let her rest in the mornings. Monika arrived yesterday with her mother, a delightful Polish lady whose family had escaped the Nazis before the war. We ate biscuits and I showed her my family tree. Miss Dover and I had worked ourselves into a frenzy of anticipation before their arrival, pressing our faces anxiously against the window, peering down the street. Two smeary prints stand as slovenly testament to our nerves. It is ridiculous really, M is shy and gentle and seemed to enjoy her visit. At the end she said "I think I'll take" and indicated several pieces (the things I thought she might like). Afterwards though I fell into a sort of post interview paranoia. Should I have said this? Why did she not want to take that?

I had had another interview, only a day or so before. HR was ready to see me to arrange my reentry into working life. I was surprised to see that Miss W was a pale young lady some years my junior and, although she obviously had skills with the sniper rifle and email, in person was not as frightening. My phasing in (I like this, it sounds like Star Trek) begins next week. Whether or not I will ever be allowed to use the back door remains to be seen although I am hoping that my mentioning of the disability discrimination act may help.

Fall

2010-12-06T17:54:00.001-02:00

Miss Dover fell down the stairs today. She was attempting to ascend to the top floor of Jobbington Community College (our place of work). The stairwell gets progressively hotter the higher one climbs and it has been suggested that it be used as a challenge in the next series of Superstars. She has fainted before while making this ascent and had made representations to the powers that be to be allowed to use lifts. The lifts, however, tend to break down if used and her request was denied. So today, within reach of the summit she passed out and fell down fracturing her rib. Claims Direct are camped like paparazzi outside our house as I type this report. They laid flowers at the door an hour ago and occasionally take a peek through the letterbox. All this could be some sort of karmic revenge. Miss Dover is in the process of making a number of films and photographs in places where such activities are strictly banned. Yesterday I was inveigled into carrying a small video camera around a very dark house. I was so rigid with fear of discovery that I shuffled round as if a ferret had managed to get halfway up my trouserleg and I, understandably, was trying not to enrage it. I will post some stills tomorrow when my Internet returns to functionality (if I survive my possibly litigious meeting with HR)

Plans

2010-12-05T16:12:00.001-02:00

Leon seems to be the place for meetings or work. Most tables seemed to hold groups of people talking over empty cups of coffee. Miss Dover and I had a rendezvous with Lock, Lomax and Thompson who sound like a legal firm of some note. We were planning the next stage of The Count of Montecristo, an evolving beast that looks like becoming as long and involved as Dumas' novel. The meeting went well largely due, I think, to Lomax's business acumen. I have been at other artist meetings that have lasted five hours and decided nothing. Ours lasted half an hour during which time we decided upon the episodic nature of the show; future venues to approach; the purpose of a (speculative) arts council grant application, the hire of a writer and an island holiday for six.

Would you like to know more?

2010-12-04T13:35:00.000-02:00

Yesterday I had a phone call from Miss MacDonald at Standpoint. I handled it with my usual aplomb. At first I thought it was M calling about the London Art Fair so I launched into an exhuberent "Hi Monika" before the (exasperated?) caller was able to stop me and explain that I had failed to put my cheque in with the application. Of course I denied everything. 5 minutes later I called her back having found the cheque i teh bottom of my bag (Freudian slip?). Miss MacDonald was very good about it and told me to pop it in the post, there was buzzing in the background. Today I am receiving, and sending, communiques. Sophie Cardonne sent a proof of the Saison video publication for next year which I foolishly replied to in French. I am an idiot sometimes. I sent Holly (at the Norwich Arts Centre) some images for the website http://norwichartscentre.co.uk/in-close-succession/ The show opens in January. I was most excited, however, to receive the photographs of Operation Pusscat from Spectrum Photographic. They are a series of A4 black and white prints of my grant application and emails. Here (in order to keep up the pretension) are some more black and white photographs of my photographs. I think I am quite pleased with them, but then, as they cost over £130, I have to be.

Finally on the Unspooling microsite there are some new essays commissioned for the show. I especially like Daniel Miller's piece. http://unspooling.org/discussion.php There is more but my feet are cold I cannot go on any longer.

Pearlville!

2010-12-01T13:08:00.001-02:00

I have just received a lovely set of photographs of Pearlville from Andrew Bracey. I don't know who to credit for them but they are much better than the ones I managed to take on my phone. [stop press... They are by Brian Slater!] I must type quickly, it is so cold I can only spend short bursts at the computer. I need a suit like the eye maker in Blade Runner.

Virtually real.

2010-11-30T15:42:00.001-02:00

There's a dead time in the timed central heating in my new abode. It switches off at 11 and does not return until 4. This means that by about 2:45 the house begins to freeze and I have to engage in manly aerobic pursuits. I've only noticed this because I am not at work. Instead I am watching the snow through the window and the progress of the student protests on twitter. Apparently the HR representative with whom I am to meet is very busy so a 'window' may not occur for some time. I believe until that time I am on gardening leave. I have also heard (though this might be a rumour) that if I say I feel I am uneasy about entering the building through it's main entrance then to quote cinema "you shall not pass" will be ringing in my ears. Meanwhile twitter unspools claim and counter claim about the demos and I have closed the curtains to keep the heat in.

"Once you choose hope, anything's possible" - Christopher Reeve

2010-11-30T10:47:00.001-02:00

My belly button fluff production is increasing exponentially. Yesterday, before my bath I discovered 3 distinct and sizeable blue grey pieces which I place reverentially on the side for later. Miss Dover has posited that my increased mobility is the cause for the rise in productivity. Indeed I have been very active distracting myself in the setting up of the perfect studio (pictures to follow). On my way into town I saw this sign. It was perhaps a little obvious but I experienced an extra frisson when I saw that "Aspire" pointed at our local congregation of heroin addicts.

Oh and by the way, as she brushed her teeth this morning, Miss Dover saw Mr Pig eating the fluff I had so carefully put aside.

A Christmas Carol

2010-11-30T07:26:00.001-02:00

I have realised why the Standpoint Futures asked for no staples in our applications. Imagine the scene in the top room of a London gallery. An intern sits on the floor next to a sack of mail. Watched by a chuckling curator he, or she, diligently opens the envelopes, dropping the cheques in one box and the applications into the shredder (bedding for the gallery hamster). While she does this the curator notes the names of non London based artists and begins to weep with laughter.

A New Dawn?

2010-11-29T15:58:00.001-02:00

I have received news that I will not be allowed to return to work until I have had an interview with HR. Until that time a member of that division will be watching all entrances with a sniper rifle. HR is a mysterious department inhabiting offices on the top floor. They have magnificent views of the surrounding terrain but it was not until now that I realised the true reason for their panoramic aspect. Unperturbed, however, I spent some time moving into my new basement lair: moving boxes, painting walls and arranging knickknacks. I also made a new thing: an old tv attached to a cb aerial with a little asteroid at its top. Earlier it produced some marvellous unexplained effects which now, of-course, I cannot replicate.

I have also put curtains up over the remaining doors in such a way that our interior now resembles a boudoir for a cut price odalisque. Also in an eleventh hour dash I managed to post an application for Standpoint Futures. I'm not sure why I've done this, but we shall see. It will be a shame when I finally get back to work.

Location:The Basement

The Basement

2010-11-28T17:37:00.001-02:00

I have begun to inhabit the basement where I shall make my studio. There is still much to clear being that it was once the studio of Bernard Reynolds, a sculptor with a fascination for birds of all sorts.

His bronzes, plaster maquettes and moulds are stacked in the next room. I began yesterday with much enthusiasm until, looking for a light, I flicked a switch which, much to my consternation, brought a grinder to life. The grinder was not screwed down and promptly shot across the workbench firing screws, bits of Bernard's sculpture and other debris in my direction. I only cut the power just in time as the beast was inches from my arm. Since then I have been more circumspect in my tidying. But I have made good progress.

Miss Dover has also found herself a little monkish cell that was once a darkroom and before that a coal cellar. She says she feels like Fra Angelico.

Worries and the Bins

2010-11-26T15:29:00.000-02:00

Bidding has opened at Art Blitz, a fundraiser for Transition Gallery. I think the main event is tomorrow and people will be bidding frantically but silently for an impressive array of donated images (I imagine a trading floor with the sound turned down). Actually I'm very glad it is to be silent, the thought of my Liberator spaceship drawing going for £4.49 or worse, not selling, doesn't bear thinking about. But at least this way (until I revel in my own humiliation on this blog) no one will know. In another sort of panic I have started making even more work for Monika to look at when she visits my studio in a couple of weeks. I have plenty of work already but, as usual, I am beset by guilt and fear. Guilt that I have not made enough and fear that it is all rubbish. Of course adding a whole series of even worse things probably won't help. Having said that, I think todays effort (two model buildings and a can of foam filler) might be ok, though I will be hacking it about tomorrow.

I have also been trying to think of the best way to display the evidence of Operation Pusscat. The trouble is that I tend to think that most text based artworks can be a bit boring and, in the arena of a gallery, lose out to more visual work. Here is a lovely photo by Emma Emmerton of a gentleman reading my novel at the show at Coexist Gallery. It was very nice of him to sit down for the photo but he does appear to have a look of incredulity forming on his face.

My best thought so far has been putting a series of photographs of my grant application and emails in a manila folder on a table where it will probably stay, undisturbed, for the duration of the exhibition. I might have to do a presentation for camera with slides and a flip chart but the idea chills my blood. Mr Pig, as usual, has helped with the photographing.

We are settling into the new house although it can be cold at times. I have begun by obsessively sealing all gaps and cracks and can often be seen creeping around clutching tape and filler hunting them down. One thing that is much improved over our old lodgings is the bin situation. Here we have three bins each of which must be wheeled into the street on alternate weeks. There is a sort of slow but beautiful line dance in operation as black and blue and brown dosey doh through the seasons.

Hello Norwich

2010-11-25T13:31:00.003-02:00

I have just heard that a whole room of Norwich MA students are being given a lecture about my blogs.

So feeling like a touring comedian I wrote "Hello Norwich" and thought about doing a few local jokes.

This would have been funny if they were looking at it live, if not its a bit sad.

I'm writing the residency proposal at the moment. Here's a quote:
"Douglas Adams posited that successful flight could only be achieved if the aviator allowed themselves to be distracted from the reality of falling (and the ground) at the last minute."
I don't think I'll get it.

Heart of Darkness

2010-11-25T11:38:00.000-02:00

I have had a message from my daughter in Africa. She is not always in Africa, that just happens to be her present location. I was a little surprised to receive her communication. Like all daughters (I assume) I only tend to hear from her when she is in need of pecuniary support. It seems however, that she has "joined a tribe". I take this in my stride as last week she "bought a island". Even though it is snowing here and my new accommodations are somewhat draughty I am not jealous. My all encompassing fear of spiders and large insects has put the whole continent on my travel blacklist. I have had leave from my doctor to make a tentative return to work, actually more of a social visit and, if this doesn't drive me to a catatonic state, I may be back to full duties by the new year. For the moment though I have decided not to brave the cold and am huddled over my laptop writing a residency proposal that involves flying and distraction. I found this quote from Douglas Adams' radio series.

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying.  The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.  Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it. The first part is easy.  All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.  That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.  Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.  Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.  One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.  It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport. If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.  This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.  Bob and float, float and bob.  Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.  Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.  They are most likely to say something along the lines of, 'Good God, you can't possibly be flying!'  It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.  Waft higher and higher.  Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.  DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.  When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.  You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your manoeuvrability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway.  You will also learn about how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly cock up, and cock up badly, on your first attempt. There are private flying clubs you can join which help you achieve the all-important moment of distraction. They hire people with surprising bodies or opinions to leap out from behind bushes and exhibit and/or explain them at the critical moments. Few genuine hitch-hikers will be able to afford to join these clubs, but some may be able to get temporary employment at them.

— Douglas Adams, 'The Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy'

Decisions

2010-11-22T09:05:00.000-02:00

So far this morning I have received seven emails from Saatchi online informing me that I have failed to get through to the next round of showdown. I am not surprised. I stuck an image in in a fit of enthusiasm. The enthusiasm, however, was soon lost and I failed to advertise my image. I did visit the Showdown site once (intending to vote for myself) but was presented with endless pairs of images which I was expected to choose between. It was very very difficult and there was no "I don't like either" button. After a few fairly arbitrary decisions I decided to stare at Twitter instead. This morning (my hip still stiff but less painful) I am spending some time thinking up new ideas and things to do
1. Stare at Twitter
2. Have a coffee
3. Is as far as I have got.

The Agony and The Agony

2010-11-21T17:16:00.001-02:00

I slipped down the stairs this morning twisting my hip and turning me instantly into a shuffling old man. I can blame no one. Both Miss Dover and Mr Pig had alibis for the time of the accident. As a result I was unable to attend the screening of one of my films in London tonight. I was due to give an introduction to The Treasurehouse of Bloody Morgan. It would have been a short introduction, very short, but I still feel guilty that I am not giving it. Instead I have spent most of the day acting as cushion to Mr Pig and her claws. She has settled in very well to her new lodgings spending most of her time reclining in various locations. However, every now and then, she disappears into the basement studio to fulfil her perverted desires. Mr Pig is addicted to cobweb eating. We often turn around to find her with innocent expression but covered head to foot in the evidence of her depravity. Miss Dover's sister once had a lodger with similar ways, although she often returned home to find him strapped to a cross and covered in chocolate.

We have created a small museum in our front room. Mr Pig hasn't noticed it. Yet.

Alex Pearl's Almanac

2010-11-19T18:51:00.000-02:00

Partly to get on top of things and partly as a blunt publicity tool I have been putting together a little document detailing my upcoming activities. In fact I have just sent it off to a motley list of people. My mailing list was recently lost due to an attempt (on my behalf) to be clever. So have been laboriously reconfiguring it from memory and guesswork. It now has over three hundred addresses, although, when I send it, I instantly get 27 message delivery failure notifications and I am sure many of those who receive my Almanac (as I have called it) will, no doubt, put it straight in the bin. Nick Serota? Who am I kidding? I am also missing lots of names I used to have. These are the people who I am sure would have been interested (mildly) but now probably think I have given up the art game and gone into modelling or something similar. You can download my almanac here

More show shots

2010-11-19T09:34:00.001-02:00

Royal Wedding

2010-11-17T18:39:00.000-02:00

We have managed to move house, in between fainting fits (Miss Dover), anxiety attacks (both me, the cat and our van driver) and narcolepsy (me, except I don't get to sleep during the day either). However, all has been moved and my old apartments are suitably cleaned. I also attempted a visit to my place of work today but was driven back, mostly by exhaustion. I intend to try again on Friday. Less daunting is our private view tomorrow in Southend, though it is very possible both Miss Dover and I will be curled up in a corner before eight. So if you are visiting please step over us quietly. Our new abode is very different from the penthouse living of central Ipswich. Now we reside in faded boho chic and have a well appointed studio in the basement. A minute ago I popped out to the car in my dressing gown exchanging a polite hello with my neighbours, what could be more civilised?

Show Up

2010-11-13T16:35:00.001-02:00

Like a well oiled machine or something else we (Miss Dover and I) hung our show at Coexist @TAP today ably assisted by the Amys. When I looked at the pile of crap in the back of the van before we set off I was worried what the show would look like. Our driver, Alex, obviously felt the same as he asked: "so you have some work at the gallery already". We sat in silence after that until we reached Southend. Now, on the slow train home, Miss Dover sleeps (and I wish
I could). Still we are satisfied and hope we have some visitors on the 18th.

Slaughter

2010-11-12T14:30:00.000-02:00

Yesterday I received feedback from Mr Gauld at the Arts Council. It has raised me from several days of torpor brought on by lack of sleep. I have pasted the body of the text below.

As our guidance explains, permission is required in order to apply for more than £100k (or in the case of national activities, £200k). To give you the context, the average grant awarded in 2009/10 was £23,544. A request of £1.8m would be truly exceptional and to be honest, given the budget available and demands for funding, it is highly unlikely that we would be able to support such a request.

A smaller amount might normally be more feasible, but I’m afraid you would not be able to apply for funding towards Operation Kitty or any similar project. I have been advised of a number of serious legal implications from financing such an activity. Therefore the Arts Council could not support the slaughtering of artists, regardless of how much it may be in the interests of artistic merit.

From this letter I understand that the Arts council is most afraid of the expense and legal ramifications of my project. I suppose this is ever the case with a publicly funded body and I may be forced to look for private money. At the moment I have other things to concern me as I must juggle: a sick Miss Dover, House moving, an exhibition set up, my own poor mental health and three practically simultaneous private views.

Wish us luck

Letter to my mum

2010-11-10T15:42:00.000-02:00

Hi Mum
I'm fine, how are you and dad? We went to the studio today. I rescued a cleaning lady who had shut herself out of her client's house. A palette knife is an excellent tool for opening window locks. The pills still feel quite strong but I think they are finally starting to have an effect (at home at least) but we are both turning into recluses and only sneak out in disguise. Annabel is crazily painting minerals for our show which is coming up really soon. Luckily I had everything ready ages ago. Here is the invite, my title was too long so it is in the background. Hopefully we will be feeling more sociable at the PV.
Talk soon
Your son Alex x

Short Update with fluff

2010-11-08T17:07:00.000-02:00

I have completed another fluff drawing. This one (though smaller than the others) was made from the leavings of two t-shirts. It took about a minute to complete which is my record to date. Tomorrow I plan to wear a new red t-shirt. I have high hopes that it will produce some exciting fluff. The flat is nearly packed and much of our unwanted possessions have been donated to the charity shop below. Unfortunately on my final trip down (with an old mirror) I entered to find one of the ladies carefully removing a mouldy bird feeder (with fat balls) from a bag which Miss Dover had brought down earlier. Backtracking quickly, still holding the mirror I returned with sheepish mien to my lair. The lair is nearly packed up though, as yet, we have failed to retain the services of a van driver for the move and neither of us are feeling particularly strong at the moment.

No news from the Arts Council yet though I do notice, as I sit at my laptop, that the spooks at Greenhayes Data centre have been rooting about my website again. My suggestion that I refocus my project on the Northwest region did not go down well in certain spheres (the northwest) and I now fear reprisals.

Email sent today at 15:23

2010-11-07T13:28:00.001-02:00

Programme: Grants for the Arts
Name of Applicant: Alex Pearl
Reference Number: 15884589
Name of Activity: Operation Pusscat

Dear Mr Gauld
I am writing for additional feedback on my failed Grants for the Arts application. It was rejected on the grounds that I was asking for too much money. While it would be impossible to deliver a scheme on the scale of "Operation Pusscat" at such a reduced budget I was wondering if the arts council would be interested in the slaughter of a lesser number of artists. For example I believe I could deliver the Gala event Hosted by Michael Aspel (or perhaps Jim Bowen) for £100,000. This would result in the removal of at least 100 top British artists. Or alternatively I could probably get rid of 1000+ lesser Northwest region artists for a similar price. I propose that either project could be called "Operation Kitty".
Please tell me what you think
Yours sincerely
Alex Pearl

The Letter

2010-11-06T14:45:00.001-02:00

I have been outside! Miss Dover and I visited our new lodgings on Anglesea road. Situated at the smart end of town, I believe we will find it a very different experience to our current situation. However, the house is not quite ready yet as it's owners are still battling with the geological scale of things left by it's previous inhabitant. At home the lair too looks as if it has been ransacked and I have lost some of my will to tackle it. Yesterday's letter from the Arts Council still lies unopened by my laptop. I cannot put it off any longer.

Well I am not surprised but to be rejected because I asked for too much money seems weasely. At no point did the online application software inform me that £2,000,000 was too much to ask for. How could I be expected to deliver such an ambitious scheme for under £100,000? The disposal of the bodies alone would cost more than that. I see my next port of call is feedback from a Mr Gauld. I intend to prepare an email immediately.

Writing under the influence

2010-11-05T11:49:00.001-02:00

The letters shift treacherously in front of my eyes. Here, in the last days of my residence in the eyrie that is my lair, I am trying to write an article for Garageland. The theme of the magazine is to be family and I am trying to hold (like water in my hands) a number of ideas. These include the formation of family at The Foundling Hospital in the eighteenth century. The idea of a constructed artistic family created by Hogarth and other artists. (that lead to the formation of the Royal Academy) My memories of Oliver! A sixties revisiting of a Dickensian discourse on family (with songs).
Artists' communes, The romance of wanting to be an orphan. And... The way in which contemporary artists create families through social exchange. I think what I mean by this is that I've often noticed that artists projects often encourage (often temporary) families to come together through some sort of artistic interaction. They seem to me like orphans finding or constructing a family around them. Hmmm. HELP!

Mossad

2010-11-03T13:35:00.000-02:00

The fog of insanity descends upon me. Unhappy with my progress, Doctor M-S has signed me off work for a further two weeks and doubled the dose of my medication. I am preparing myself now for another week of recurring side effects. Happy in my lair, however, I am determined to keep active, not with my sniper rifle or endless twitter watching, but with constructive activity. At the moment I am packing for the move to a new abode, a house on the other side of town. The simple act of sorting and boxing is a relaxing and therapeutic pursuit, though I find myself getting distressed at the amount of stuff Miss Dover and I have accumulated during our 9 month sojourn in The Unicorn and am only able to do a little before returning to the sofa for lie down. There are other things to keep me distracted. I have the show at TAP to prepare for and have been asked to write a piece for the upcoming "Family" edition of Garageland and, next week, Monika Bobinska will be visiting my studio to select some things for the London Art Fair in January. At this moment I don't really feel like doing any of this and Miss Dover keeps asking "where's the ...." and unpacking my boxes. As she potters round, scattering my good work to the four corners of the flat I have been checking Statcounter for Arts Council activity. Apart from unexpected visitors from Moscow and Israel their has been one other unusual visit: a twenty hour stay by the Greenheys data centre in Salford. Is that the Arts Council? have they put the KGB and Mossad onto me?

We still haven't filmed the tumbleweed so it sits incongruously in our studio waiting to be set free.

Cooking the Books

2010-11-01T13:27:00.000-02:00

Still trapped in my lair, I have finally submitted my Arts Council application. This was not easily achieved as it was repeatedly thrown back at me with various cryptic messages involving match funding and support in kind. In the end I was forced to up the artists' entrance fee to £25 in order to gain the requisite 10% match funding. But this has a ghoulish Halloween symmetry now, as effectively they will be paying not only for the disposal of their own bodies but also for their tea and biscuits. Also, and more seriously I had to lower my fee again (bloody typical) to a still respectable £88500. My emotions are mixed, I hope I have answered all the questions correctly, and I hope the application is taken seriously. I am afraid most of all that I may become a pariah but more that I will be accused of having done a bad job. A few extra paragraphs were shoehorned in just before submission, they are listed below.

The financial planning for this enterprise has been mentioned in previous sections. These figures will have to be adapted according to take up in various centres. As such I have worked on a system of assumptions based on the unit costs of general organisation (advertising, Mr Aspel's fee, PA etc.), venue hire, body disposal and purchase of nerve agent. This system allows for great flexibility in dealing with greater or lesser numbers at each venue. In addition to this the fictitious prize can be dipped into as a contingency fund if necessary.

As each artist will be bringing some sort of artwork with them to each event I envision being able to have some sort of garage sale afterwards which may raise more funds. However at the time of writing I am not sure it will be worth the effort of hiring extra transport and staff to remove the work, so instead I am considering gifting it to the nation.

Long term, the effect on my financial position will be huge, especially if I abscond with the 1 million in gold. In fact I have calculated that the amount will be sufficient for me to give up work entirely and become a full time artist for the rest of my life.

Clearly the evaluation for this project will largely be based on a body count. This quantitative data will also be backed up with a qualitative assessment which will look at the amount of news generated by the project, the relative amounts of Arts Funding freed up for the survivors and my resulting position in the art world.

As is the case in all plans for world domination, during the project there will only be a little time for adaptation as all events will be occurring simultaneously. I do hope, however, to be able to keep in contact remotely with all venues through my network of interns and student volunteers. I am sure they can be persuaded to use their own mobiles for this purpose.

If the project is as successful as I hope I shall look to take it international with a funding application to the British Council.

Tales from the Crypt

2010-10-31T16:05:00.000-02:00

In my confinement I swing from frenzied activity to extreme inertia. Sometimes I feel motivated to organise and achieve, but mostly I find myself drawing a bead on some unfortunate with my sniper rifle. Today has been a bit of both. I have packed and sent a number of parcels. Two drawings (one each) have gone to Artsway for the open and to Transition for their fundraiser "Art Blitz". A dvd has been dispatched to London for Kisito Assangni's "Time is Love" to be screened in the UK, Switzerland, Netherlands, USA and China. In addition it looks as if Saison Video will be featuring some more video work in Lille. Unfortunately my drawings of belly button fluff have been interrupted. I was storing the colourful fuzzy balls in a neat line atop a pile of books in the bathroom. In fact they were resting on Le Carré's The Spy Who Came in from the Cold when, in an act of traitorous malfeasance, Mr Pig ate them all. Distraught I have had to begin again.

Secrets and Lies

2010-10-28T13:34:00.001-02:00

The AA has sent me an invoice for the sign which is to be placed outside our show at TAP in November. This is very exciting as I assume this means there has been no opposition from the council to our offering trips to the moon. Recently Miss Dover and I saw a holiday advert inviting travellers to join in a "search for the northern lights". No doubt it was worded in this way to avoid litigation should the lights fail to appear. We are now thinking of offering a similar holiday experience in Ipswich and wonder how many would join us on such a jaunt. As I am still largely trapped in my lair I have begun a series of drawings of the fluff from my belly button. It varies greatly depending upon my attire. I hope to show them as part of "The Island of True Stories" a group show at the Phoenix, Exeter which is made up of artists represented by Wilmore House. Here are three I made recently (they are very difficult to photograph)

Arts Council Grant Application Update

2010-10-22T14:31:00.000-02:00

My mood is murderous so I have been spending my time wisely with my Grants for the Arts Application. Tricky things like making the figures balance and finding a place to declare a need for £1000000 in gold bullion. I settled my fee at £200,000 which matched the cost for disposal of all the bodies - it seemed neat. But, as often happens, when I discovered a short fall in the budget for venue rental it was my fee that had to suffer. Last time I made an arts council application I ended up with nothing at all (bar a few goodies I squirreled away). The hardest part was condensing my proposal into 50 words:

This application is for funds to support the humane cull of thousands of artists. It will take place in London and regional centres and also include a Gala event at which the top 100 Uk artists will be slain during a fake "This is Your Life" hosted by Michael Aspel.

(I do worry the assessment of my form may end upon reading but was pleased that it was exactly 50 words long)

These questions (or rather my answers) may also be bad for my cause:

Number of performance or exhibition days 1

Number of new products or commissions 0

Period of employment for artists (in days) 1

Number of sessions for education, training or participation. 0 (although maybe I should count the 'events' as participatory?)

Well whatever the result, I am nearly there, a bit of checking over and supporting evidence to upload and it will be ready to send.

Pots of Gold

2010-10-22T09:59:00.000-02:00

Mr Bracey raised some interesting questions yesterday. I had been slightly worried about the effect of budget cuts on my Arts Council proposal. However, our brief conversation helped me put those worries aside. I must crack on.

Andrew Bracey How will the cuts affect your arts council application? You might have to trim down that prize fund by 30%
Alex Pearl I believe my project will have the full backing of the Bullingdon Boys, I think I might even get a little extra.
Andrew Bracey If you can make it carbon neural there might be another pot available too from the green bank?!
Alex Pearl Bodies to composting rather than landfill?
Andrew Bracey You can't consort meat really-attracts errant foxes and wild boar, back to drawing board on that one I reckon. Perhaps rather darkly my immediate thought is crush artists bodies and create tidal energy with the alone seeping out!
Alex Pearl Hmm and foxes and badgers aren't too popular at the moment. I like the tidal idea!
Andrew Bracey Got it! Arts council needs to cut admin by 50% work this into your proposal and not just focus on killing off artists. They will make you a lord.

To counter any down turn I have entered a piece of work for the Saatchi Showdown and bought a lottery ticket. Miss Dover and I spotted this sign the other day. There is hope. I hope

A Werewolf in London

2010-10-20T11:56:00.001-02:00

Last night Miss Dover dreamt of the two Jeremies raising fears that I may need to search for a new girl soon. But today she has an appointment with her supervisors and, keen that I shouldn't stagnate in my lair, has brought me to London with her. I am now faithfully sitting in a café awaiting her post congregational arrival. I have not been here the whole time. Rather nervously I have braved the streets of London (skirting their edges, staring straight ahead). I went to see Bettina Buck at Rokeby in it's new home on Hatton Wall. The pills must be working because, when faced with a locked door and a discrete buzzer, I pressed that button. A voice said hello and buzzed me in. I shouldered the door shouting a strangled "thank you" too late and stumbled down the stairs. For a person nervous that the whole world might be about to fall about his ears Bettina Buck's precarious constructions are not comfortable viewing. Deflation, noisy collapse and uncontrollable excretion are her stock in trade. Each piece having a cell like simplicity and a hollow disappointment that I love. Time to up the dosage. I ran from that place, someone called "thank you" I replied "argle" over the other shoulder and stumbled up the stairs. I hope Miss Dover turns up soon.

Bettina Buck, "In Shape In Control" 2009

Morning Report

2010-10-20T07:10:00.001-02:00

Looking out from my lair two things dominate my view. The abandoned building opposite is capped with a shining white band emblazoned with the broadly spaced word "C O - O P E R A T I V E". In front of it and so close to my window I feel I could jump and reach it (though I could not) is a security camera. The camera is one of those municipal sort that traverses slowly clearly under the control of someone in a room full of television screens. I keep hoping that the camera will turn and look at me but it keeps its eye downcast on the streets below. A few months ago a group of boys broke into the building and sat on its roof, their legs dangling over the sign.

Venlafaxine Works

2010-10-19T10:16:00.000-02:00

I have had notice to quit my lair. The design company that lives below has expansion in mind and so I have a month to find new lodgings. Miss Dover and I have felt safe here and are sorry to have to move. we have our sites set on a lovely, if eccentric, house in a quiet part of town. At work HR has begun to take an inordinate interest in my illness. I am to keep them updated with my progress. So this morning I sent in a list of my latest symptoms. My first report included the following:

"I am still getting less than a couple of hours sleep a night, am constipated, have anxiety attacks when I think of college, dry mouth, loss of appetite, dizziness, no get up and go, wind, gas and sexual dysfunction"

I am looking forward to giving my second report tomorrow.

As mentioned before I have been pottering about between bouts of staring boredly at twitter. The results are no doubt products of a disturbed mind.

From the sick room

2010-10-18T10:26:00.000-02:00

I have started to think of my flat as a tower, a place of refuge from the world far below. Unwilling to go out, I have started to make work here with the limited resources available. This video is a test for a piece for The Count of Montecristo, I hope to recreate it at Rogue Project Space and film it in location. I have also had a good deal of time for reading. After watching the Assassin/Art collector of the Eiger Sanction I was delighted to discover Brian Aldiss' An Age which features a time travelling Artist/Assassin. I wonder how many more multitasking artists there are in fiction and whether any of them provide a viable model for survival in difficult times. An Age is a bizarre book with many worrying aspects, by the end of it I thought I might be mad. The time travel all occurred entirely in the mind, with travellers appearing like ghosts in the Jurassic, Cretaceous or Victorian eras. In the end I was taken with the protagonist's discovery that, contrary to popular belief, time is running backwards.

Brenda Venus

2010-10-15T10:12:00.003-02:00

I am on furlough and under sedation. This has cut recent activity to a minimum, I am just ticking over. Nevertheless I have pushed myself to a few minor achievements. I have invoiced the Cornerhouse for the second instalment of my fee for Pearlville. I have entered and been accepted for the Artsway open and I have progressed my arts council application a little further. Entering Artsway did cause me more than a little pang of guilt as I have in the past foresworn such open shows. This will be there, I hope I win.

On the arts council website I have been trying to divide my proposal into the appropriate sections. It is still a bit rough but I am making progress. In answer to how the public will engage with my work I have written the following:

I imagine the initial involvement figures will be as follows
Artists: c 5000-8000
Students/intern:s c100-200
Celebrities: 1

Obviously the main group engaging with the work will be artists (isn't this always the case?). Also their engagement will be rather absolute, if all goes to plan none will survive. However, I imagine subsequent news reports to reach a far larger audience which should include a broad cross section of the general public. I believe that such an artistic event will cause an unprecedented sensation that will raise the arts from its usual position in the 'funnies' section at the end of news reports. While it is expected that some of the images will be challenging I believe they are commensurate to the current funding crisis in the arts.

Last night's viewing involved the last few minutes of the Eiger Sanction and Airplane (the former being funnier by far). The following summary says it all:

"An classical art professor and collector, who doubles as a professional assassin, is coerced out of retirement to avenge the murder of an old friend."

Failure upon failure

2010-10-07T17:42:00.001-02:00

I have failed to go to either the next private view at TAP or the Monika Bobinska show yet again. Guilt is dragging at my scalp. I escaped work at six but with so little energy left it was all I could do to drag myself home. A new fitness regime is required so that I may cope with the rigours of an artist's life. Mistress Lock has suggested we see Frieze on the 17th, it is likely we will see some sights. Tomorrow is my day off. After a consultation with my new doctor I will be free to set my mind to many of the things I should be finishing off: my Arts Council application, a film for The Count of Montecristo, a bit of tidying up and definitely no sad teenager video games.

Pearl meets girl

2010-10-07T17:22:00.001-02:00

I've been recovering and starting to think ahead again. My life is split into two parts: 'work' and 'the rest'. 'Work' causes me anxiety (the rest does too but it seems more manageable). I should explain that in this case I am using the word work as a name for my paid employment rather than my work as an artist. I still cannot bring myself to use the word practice which makes my neck itch. Anyway I've been looking through things to apply to and wondering which ones are worthwhile and which I stand a chance of getting. I was looking at some and worrying that, in a recession, perhaps more famous artists might be forced to enter more lowly shows and residencies in order to make a crust. If so, what will the rest of us do? How can I be expected to compete with Sarah Lucas for the first prize of the Kings Lynn: Eastern Open?

Self Made

2010-10-03T12:33:00.001-02:00

We are leaving in the rain. It was so heavy this morning that we were forced to cancel our last minute AND Festival tour and order a cab straight to the station. The train carriage is warm and steamy and I am relaxing, writing thank you emails, while watching wriggling water droplets race diagonally down the window. Miss Dover sits next to me in a polka dot halter-neck dress underlining sentences in her book. We have met some lovely people and had a great time (although I fear our rather lightweight approach to alcohol and late nights has let us down). My eye has almost returned to normal. Probably, by the time we reach home, it will be as if it had never happened. Last night we managed to obtain complementary tickets to the Premiere of Gillian Wearing's "Self Made". I enjoyed it, running through nearly every emotion possible. I though it a good film worth seeing. By the end of the credits, however, I felt used, worried about exploitation both my own and of the subjects of the film. One of the characters, Ash, seemed to have been manipulated into reenacting his greatest fear, that he might suddenly attack a pregnant, middle class, white woman, killing her baby. He looked distraught in the post production interview. Miss Dover asked a perfectly phrased question about this issue in the q&a session afterwards but did not receive a satisfactory answer. Later we sat with other artists around a table of drinks, jokily taking the film apart. I wonder if that generation of artists that seem to take, rather than give, is passing on. Anyway I'll send Gillian a ticket to my forthcoming gala event. She seemed shy, I wonder if she will come?

We saw this next piece by accident. It is by Deborah Barrett and is called. "I feel like shit today"

Opening night

2010-10-01T18:32:00.001-03:00

Much to report, unfortunately my memory is poor. Here are a few snapshots.

Wayne Lloyd's retelling of "Hell is a City" was mesmerising.

Gebhard Sengmüller's slide projection of a grand guignol scene from "Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia" all presented to the hot smell and clickety clackety rhythm of 12 slide projectors.

Sheena Macrae's mirrored remix of "2001" went on forever, but why does it curve?

Radio

2010-10-01T09:19:00.001-03:00

Radio interview complete. I think the interviewer was visually scarred by the experience of "Pearlville" I have to admit it does seem to be a dark world. I tried not to fix him with my beady eye and tried to shuffle to my right to keep my better side in view. Simultaneously he was constantly trying to bring his good ear into play (he wore a hearing aid) To an observer we must have seemed strange waltzing partners or perhaps engaged in a slow, polite, knife fight.

2010-10-01T06:28:00.001-03:00

I am finding novel uses for a teaspoon. This morning after prising my eye open I used one to ladle out the bright yellow pus from my eyeball. Now I am using a hot spoon in an attempt to "bring on" the sty. I'm not too certain that I really want to bring it on, it is precocious enough already. My current situation reminds me of that scene in "Rocky" where our hero asks Mickey to cut his eye so he can see Apollo Creed's fist smash into his face. Only an hour and a half to go before my radio interview.

Sty?

2010-09-30T17:01:00.001-03:00

Back in the hotel room after a long day hanging around the Cornerhouse, I am trying to bring the swelling down on my right eye. Miss Dover is lying next to me writing her phd and worrying about the Jerwood drawing prize. Her drawing "St Anthony and the Christmas putti" had been selected but due to a mixture of unforeseen events we failed to make the private view. (image below)

Private views are like teenage parties (at least the one's I attended) if you do go, nothing happens, if you don't, you feel you missed something fabulous. Tomorrow "Unspooling" opens after an excruciating radio interview (my eye is not fit for tv), a mildly painful artists' buffet (I'm not clear about that yet) and, no doubt, some speeches.

Tomorrow I promise photos and wild tales.

Also many thanks are due to my lovely parents who took Miss Dover and I to lunch. Hopefully I have placed sufficient commas in their correct places.

Tea, milk, no sugar

2010-09-29T12:27:00.001-03:00

Things have gone very smoothly, though all seems to be a sort of organised panic here at Cornerhouse. I am drinking tea awaiting the arrival of Miss Dover having thrown up my show in under two hours. I look like I have been crying but this is not the case. Luckily I had help getting Pearlville together, people to check the /DVDs and thankfully put up the neon sign. Soon I shall be one of the ranks of artists who have done a bit of neon. Mine is actually a sign, rather than an artwork, but I don't think I will be spared the approbation. Phil Collins' car broke down so he won't be here until tomorrow, his show is painted a similar colour to mine.

Pearlville

2010-09-29T11:41:00.001-03:00

Drops

2010-09-29T06:14:00.001-03:00

I have acquired some eyedrops from a lovely pharmacist who did no flinch at all at the sight of my gummy eye. Now seated on the Virgin service to Manchester hoping, as usual, that nobody will want to sit next to me. I think my eye (like Jaws' teeth) may be useful.

Henchman

2010-09-29T04:30:00.001-03:00

I look like I am up to no good. I am on the train to Manchester (seat reservations cancelled as usual) toting a large fluorescent bag. It is heavy, I am hunched and walking with a slight limp. It is taped shut and contains five DVD players and an rf converter. I could sell them down the carriage but my fellow passenger look non too congenial. I am also suffering with a swollen gummy eye giving me the sort of filmic deformity often used to signify a parallel moral degeneration. The visual is all. Yesterday I received a telephone call from Mr Griffiths. He was concerned about the number of working televisions available for my installation. I may have to re-plan things when I arrive.

'The Doctor's Wind"

2010-09-24T09:50:00.011-03:00

Two letters in two days. M replied (as she often does) just when I had reached my lowest ebb. It seems that the London Art Fair hangs in the balance and will go ahead (with myself included) if her present venture goes well. It seems I am to experience, directly for the first time, an outcome based on the resilience of the art market. Will the economic crisis have affected art collectors significantly enough for them to keep their Coutts cheques unsigned? If they do, four artists will not go to the fair.

The second missive, from Mr Bracey has put my mind at rest in regard to the set up of Pearlville at the Cornerhouse. Apparently my room is already painted and a range of televisions will be arriving today. Really I did not expect anything less. It is still raining in Ipswich but there is a fresh breeze animating the trees outside my window.

This is the second "badlands" film

"The Undertaker's Wind"

2010-09-23T11:24:00.004-03:00

It is raining upon Ipswich's grey slate rooftops. In this weather they take on a grim heaviness. Or it could be my mood. This morning I awoke to discover my Bank had failed to stop a standing order to my old landlord and I was £450 poorer. Thankfully while I slumped listlessly o the sofa the inestimable Miss D brought her not inconsiderable skills to bear and I have been promised a cheque in the very near future. After a light luncheon of Sainsbury's sushi and coffee she also ushered me to sign on at a new doctor's surgery in the hope of getting me medicated at the earliest opportunity. I am to see Corita (the exotic nurse) for a preliminary checkup on the 5th. No news form M or B but I have been in constant contact with Miss Shelley who is preparing some sort of web presence for Pearlville. Soon I will be in Manchester again. Action and purpose will do me good.

"Good show. According to the CIA she's a corker."

2010-09-22T11:26:00.005-03:00

Sarah sent me my instructions this morning. I was to upload an array of video files to the Wesendit site. I have exceeded the fair usage policy on my tmobile dongle so I had to get all the work done before 4pm when I am restricted to basic browsing only. I calculated that the files would take about four hours to upload over the 3G network, plenty of time. I began the process at ten after a breakfast of scrambled eggs toast and coffee. It is now 15:32 and the work is done. Mr Bracey has gone very quiet but I am unwilling to interrupt him as he is no doubt in a panic getting ready for Unspooling. With over 20 international artists involved I do not envy him and the redoubtable Mr Griffiths. I was very excited to discover this (entirely by accident). If it doesn't play follow this link .

"Bond shot straight into the screaming mouth"

2010-09-21T13:03:00.003-03:00

I have sent a large email containing images of recent work to M, no reply. I also heard that my (admittedly shambolic) application for an Animate commission has failed. On top of this the young security guard at work today was such an officious idiot that I turned around and went home. I would have liked to have karate chopped him in the neck but couldn't summon the nerve. Instead I took one of my growing collection of bikes off into the countryside. This bike (as yet unnamed, although Bernard is favourite) is, or as I write was, largely untested at speed since I put it together last week. The steep descent from the Shotley peninsular soon put it through its paces and apart from a tendency to swerve due to an over tight headset (I think) It only caused me to scream a little.

It is only a week now until I travel to Manchester.

Exciting News

2010-09-21T06:10:00.000-03:00

If you can not view this email, please click here

Join us for the Preview

Fri 01 October 2010

18.00 - 21.00, RSVP on Facebook

Cornerhouse, Galleries 2 & 3

Celebrating 25 years of Cornerhouse and produced as part of Abandon Normal Devices, curators Andrew Bracey and Dave Griffiths present a large and ambitious group exhibition that straddles two giant bodies of reference – art and cinema – showing 19 international artists dispersed throughout Cornerhouse and beyond this Autumn.
cornerhouse.org/unspooling

Artists

Michaël Borremans, Cartune Xprez, David Claerbout, Sally Golding, Ben Gwilliam & Matt Wand, Roman Kirschner, Kerry Laitala, Wayne Lloyd, Sheena Macrae, Elizabeth McAlpine, Juhana Moisander, Alex Pearl, Greg Pope, Mario Rossi, Gebhard Sengmüller, Harald Smykla, Ming Wong and Stefan Zeyen.

Preview Launch Performances

17.00, Gallery 2

Join us for Wayne Lloyd's new drawing and spoken word performance 'Hell is a City' (2010), retelling Val Guest's famous Manchester-set 60's crime film of the same name.

This performance is FREE but booking is required, click here to book

18.30, Gallery 3

Harald Smykla adds to his ongoing 'Movie Protocol' series, with a performance staged for one-night-only! This event sees Smykla reinterpret Nick Roeg's 1985 film, 'Insignificance' - one of the first films ever to be screened at Cornerhouse.
click here for more info

Off-site Installation

Also, venture off-site and visit Gebhard Sengmüller's 'Slide Movie' piece installed
at 52 Princess Street, Manchester, M1 6JX

Also Previewing at Cornerhouse

Phil Collins

Fri 01 October 2010
18.00 - 21.00, Gallery 1
On show until 28 November 2010

70 Oxford Street
Manchester
M1 5NH

Gallery Opening Times

Mon: Closed
(Except Mon 04 Oct, open for AND festival)
Tue – Sat: 12.00 –20.00
Sun: 12.00 – 18.00

www.andfestival.org.uk

Michael Aspel

2010-09-18T15:26:00.004-03:00

I have found a little more time to work on my plan. As with all Arts Council Awards, budget is paramount. I spent a little time looking for presenters for my gala event. Obviously Michael Aspel was my first choice but, having heard that he had been unwell, I was preparing myself to be satisfied with Dale Winton or even Jim Bowen. I was delighted however to find that "Radio City" (the celebrity booking agency) still had him on their books for a very reasonable appearance fee of between £6000 and £10,000. Jim Bowen was cheaper. I wonder how these figures are arrived at? Anyway Aspel's bio seems eminently suitable, I have sent an enquiry as to his availability:

Michael Aspel's career began as a radio actor with the BBC in Cardiff in 1954.

He became a nationally known personality on both television and radio, firstly as a television newsreader and, subsequently, as a presenter of numerous television and radio programmes including Family Favourites, Miss World, Crackerjack, Personal Cinema, Aspel And Company, Today, After Seven, Star Games, Ask Aspel, Eric & Ernie's Variety Days, Ultra Quiz and the Bafta Awards.

Michael entered into an exclusive contract with London Weekend Television to present several programmes including The 6 O'clock Show, Child's Play, and his talk show Aspel And Company, and he has presented several specials in The Trouble With series.

Subsequently, he presented Strange But True? about the supernatural and Caught On Camera where extraordinary events were recorded in film and video.
He hosted ITN's V.E. Day Programme in May 1995, along with Lights Camera Action for ITV which was a series of six programmes to celebrate the centenary of the cinema.

Michael currently hosts two of BBC ONE's longest running and successful shows. He succeeded Eammon Andrews as presenter of This Is Your Life and then took over from Hugh Scully as presenter of the Antiques Roadshow.

Over the years, Michael has been voted Variety Club ITV Personality of the Year and TV Times Television Personality of the Year. He has appeared in several pantomimes, co-starred in a run of Say Who You Are and has narrated Side By Side By Sondheim.

Michael was awarded the OBE in 1993 for services to broadcasting and was recently voted into the Royal Television Society Hall of Fame for outstanding services to television.

In the studio, I have been working on some rough designs of auditoria suitable for the execution of my plan. I am hoping for a little cinematic grandeur.

2010-09-18T07:49:00.005-03:00

I am awaiting instruction from above. In Leeds and Manchester, urgent technical discussions are ongoing regarding file sizes and formats. Here in Ipswich I wait, ready to respond instantly. I still haven't emailed M about Badlands. I am hoping that I will make a better piece of work. Yesterday in a fit of stubbornness I filmed a photograph of a suburban street for an hour. Here is a little clip. Or possibly not, Blogger video is a little unreliable.

Invasive Proceedures

2010-09-15T17:05:00.001-03:00

Received an alarming email this evening just as I was unwinding with a vodka tonic. I have been watching "The Wire" on DVD. In the last episode there was a scene in which the entire script consisted of the word "fuck" and only the word "fuck". It crescendoed with the line "motherfucker..... fuckme" The scene, as I read this email to Miss Dover, ran in much the same vein. Ms Chan seems to have made me an appointment with some sort of "Art Doctor" who looks like Derren Brown in disguise. I am not a great fan of doctors or the many humiliations they carry with them. Is Dr Clarke a gp of art I wonder? or something more sinister? Am I displaying a bond-like primal fear here? I include details from the email below with my childishly fearful annotations in brackets.

Dear artists,

Just emailing you to introduce myself and to let you know that we are organising an event called: (my heart-rate rose here and cold pins and needles spread across the nape of my neck)

UnSpooling / Artists’ Clinic
Cornerhouse, Galleries 2 & 3, Sat 02 Oct 15.00 – 17.00 / FREE

Artists’ Clinic (let me tell you here that I have seen an episode of something called "embarrassing bodies" on television and I was not impressed) consists of quick fire diagnostics and ‘artistic examinations’ posing questions about the production, identity and normal experience of cinema. As well as offering facts about the artists and their work, audiences can make appointments for their own personal check-up – a chance for a more in-depth conversation with artists in UnSpooling. (if I haven't drunk myself into a coma)

As some of you may already know (I did not know this. Who knew this? Why wasn't I told? Actually I know why I wasn't told) this event will be facilitated by Chris and we hope you can all take part. At some point, Chris may be in contact
with you to ask you some questions as this forms part of his role as ‘art doctor' where he will be providing quick fire diagnostics of your artworks. (here I know I will roll over like a puppy)

We are currently in the process of finalising the finer details of the event, but please find below a rough schedule, that may change slightly, depending on what Chris decides.
(great let's do it)

Glut

2010-09-13T09:13:00.004-03:00

Two joyous dawn events to gladden my heart! The orange bags have arrived! In addition to this, Miss Dover informed our downstairs neighbors that their waste is blocking our courtyard (by email). This morning she received apologetic reply and a promise that the mendicant cleaner responsible will be "corrected". I am so relieved as the bags and boxes are beginning to backup to an alarming degree. Meanwhile at the studio I found myself getting more and more carried away with the expanding foam filler. I have always struggled with these sorts of diy substances. Fillers, grouts, sealants etc have a tendency to escape me, adhering to every surface except the intended. There is a sort of domestic excess at work here, like the chocolate pudding in Woody Allen's execrable nightmare Sleepers. I phoned home last night and talked to my father of hotels, gardening gloves and postcards. My mother (in the background) commented that I also need to apply more punctuation to my writing.

No news from Mr Bracey.

Eugene

2010-09-11T15:47:00.003-03:00

Miss Dover and I visited Southend today to finalise details for our upcoming show at Tap gallery. To her credit M did not bat an eyelid when we told her of our plans to black the entire space out. She not mind either my erroneous AA sign being placed outside her gallery nor Miss Dover's plans to release a tumbleweed upon the public. All ideas were received with equanimity, happiness even. It was not until she saw one of my suggestions for publicity image (a sexy shot of my novel on a fur rug) that she looked a little disturbed.

After much tea and discussion about communist spies and exams we headed home, (this was our second visit together to Southend and we had failed to see the seafront yet again).

On the return to Ipswich we met Eugene the French Greek Orthodox priest and his girlfriend Jane (a Swiss Artist). He told us he had been a cowboy before taking orders but was now selling olives and cheese. They were off to a monastery in Maldon.

Mr Bracey sent me a message yesterday to say he was about to enter the Neon shop. He asked me if I was still fixed on pink and suggested he might go for lime green instead. Coincidentally my favourite neon sign is both.

Happy Day

2010-09-09T12:43:00.007-03:00

Well things are going very well indeed. We took our new students to Felixstowe today. Practically no expense is spared at my place of employment. To liven up the day I decided to take The Phantom on the 28 mile round trip (after I had managed to lose my way twice). The Phantom is considerably lighter than Lucia but I think the students were quite impressed at the amount of sweat one man can produce. On the way back buoyed by adulation I decided to race a wiry young man on a sleek looking road bike. I have spent the last half hour lying on the bathroom floor. Now slightly recovered and listening to Beethoven's Ninth playing tinnily out of my laptop speakers I am reviewing my emails. I am delighted to report that the lovely people at Saison Video were not in search of another coaster but in fact watched my dvd and seem to want to show some of my work (though some of the Gallic reserve in Mo Gourmelon's emails is a little hard to decipher). Mo is a Directrice a position and word so exciting to me that I had to have another little lie down. More excitement was evinced upon my reading of a further email from Miss Vosvenieks the conference and events coordinator at The Bridgewater Hall, in Manchester, a fabulous venue which can hold up to 1800 people. She was extremely helpful with the costings thinking of a few things I had not considered. I quote her letter below with more than a twinge of guilt that she has become my unwitting accomplice:

Hi Alex
Thank you for your enquiry via Rooms for Meetings. We’d love to be able to confirm this event here at The Bridgewater Hall, particularly because we are an arts venue ourselves. Our main auditorium can hold up to 1800 guests on tiered seats across 4 levels, so it would be perfect for numbers around the 1000 mark.

We sell the auditorium as a whole facility hire which comes with our front of house foyers, our other conference rooms, 2 warm up rooms, 5 artists rooms (these are like dressing rooms) and 4 orchestra rooms (these can be used for holding spaces). I have attached our brochure which details the conference spaces and also have attached some photos of the auditorium for you, but if you would like to arrange a site visit please let me know.
Whole facility hire is charged at £12,180+vat for a 12 hour hire period between 07:00 – 23:00. This includes the above areas as well as 2 general purpose technicians, an appropriate level of stewards, in-house power, house lighting and general lighting to the stage. Additional technical costs are quoted dependent on your requirements, but for an idea of costs see below:

In-house PA system, sound desk & microphones @ £800+vat (this is a compulsory charge)
In-house lighting desk and the permanent lighting rig @ £300+vat
Follow spot @ £90+vat
Sound engineer @ £265+vat
Lighting engineer @ £265+vat
Follow spot operator @ £55+vat
Simple projection package (inc. screen and projector) @ £1500+vat

Catering costs as follows:
Tea, coffee & biscuits @ £2.40+vat per person, per serving
- we do have bars on all levels so could have account bar or cash bars open for you.

The dates we have available are:
Wednesday 7 September 2011
Wednesday 14 September 2011
Wednesday 28 September 2011

If you would like to provisionally hold one of these dates please let me know which date along with full contact details so I can hold it off in the diary for you.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you require anymore information.

Fees

2010-09-08T14:01:00.004-03:00

Live and Let Die is finally consigned to the bookshelf reading it was both an exhilarating and excruciating experience. I've decided to move into safer fiction for my next book with a rereading of Bruce Chatwin's Utz, less barracuda wrestling but also less terrifying racial stereotypes.

I have discovered an excellent venue finder. www.roomsformeetings.net This has allowed me to find venues of substantial size across the country. I have inquired after a number of quotes which should get me a little further with my form. The actual planning seems to be going rather smoothly although I am aware it will be a rather large organisational task to get all the events running smoothly and simultaneously. Because of this I am considering the hiring of a sidekick or two but I am not sure how much I should pay them nor who they should be. The choice of a sidekick could be vital to a successful grant application, if I go along the same lines as your average Bond villain I should be able to tick a few diversity boxes as well.

On another matter, I am in a quandary as to my own fee. Clearly as "lead artist" I should be due a significant sum but as is usual with these applications I am finding it hard to decide what that should be. In the past, when filling out these forms, I have been encouraged to put forward a realistic fee for my time and effort but whenever I have done this I have always been asked to cut the figure down. Usually (like telling the doctor how much one drinks) I halve the figure I first thought of and spread it out over a much longer period.

This may all be irrelevant soon. I have heard whispers that the Arts Council may soon be scrapped. Both Waldemar JANUSZCZAK (excuse the capitals I had to copy and paste the spelling from my Twitter feed) and Brian Sewell are calling for its abolition, this is bloody typical.

Easy Tiger

2010-09-06T13:22:00.004-03:00

I have turned my mind to a search for a suitable nerve agent for my project. This is the area that I think will be most difficult to price for my grant application. Making too detailed inquiries early on in proceedings may make the purchase of such agents in the future. I have found a quite useful pamphlet online. Authored by the CIA, it runs through various types of nerve agents and goes into some detail as to their manufacture around the world. I think in the end I will just have to make a best guess as to costs for the application and include a significant contingency in case of unforeseen expenses. I have managed to obtain the email of Tony Blair's office and am considering asking him for advice on where to find such chemical weapons. I am also considering raising the entrance fee for the open exhibition to £20. Obviously this is a sharp hike (though still on a par with many similar open call competitions) but I am drawn to the symmetry of the idea that their fee will pay completely for the disposal of their bodies.

Disposal

2010-09-06T05:12:00.003-03:00

After a light breakfast of toast, one slice with peanut butter one with butter, and a cup of Darjeeling tea. I settled down to read the morning paper. The most note worthy headline being "ELO Cellist Killed by Bale of Hay". Wondering for a while if this was code I shaved and showered and sat down to a little research. Being a neat person I decided to concentrate first on the disposal of bodies. I decided to work with a figure based upon 1000 artists as this could be easily factored for higher numbers. Bodybags were easy to come by from the US. A standard bag comes to $15 each. At current exchange rates this leads to a cost of $15000 = £9,851.61.

There are many waste disposal firms based in London. I decided to go with AnyJunk. They quote costs for removal at £309.03 for a 2 tonne truck load. I calculated that regional aspiring artists tend to have a low bodyweight due mainly to fashion and poor nutrition and decided to go with an average of 65KG per artist. 100o artists would generate an estimated 65 tonnes of waste necessitating 33 truck loads, leading to a grand total of £10206.90. Thus total disposal costs would be £20,058.51. At roughly £20 per artist this seems very economical.

Grants for the Arts

2010-09-05T08:42:00.004-03:00

Here follows a first draft of my secret plan and Arts Council Grant proposal. I did worry that revealing my plans so early might scupper them. But this didn't stop Goldfinger or Blofelt or Scaramanga or Dr No or Hugo Drax or Mr Big.

Rationale

In 2004 the number of artists in the East End of London alone was estimated at 10,000. Every year art schools produce thousands moreUnder current funding this number is clearly unsustainable.
The world is in the grips of a global recession and Arts Funding set to suffer serious cutbacks over the next few years.
In order for my stock as an artist to rise, it is necessary to remove as large a number of rivals as possible. Thus a controlled culling of a large number of artists will begin to tackle the both the national crisis and prove beneficial to my career.
It is not anticipated that the public or authorities will pursue the culling of even a significant proportion of this sector। A recent article based on a survey commissioned बी the Threadneedle art prize concluded that 2/3 of the public agree with cutbacks in the arts।

The Plan

To gather together and humanely destroy a large number of artists across a number of regional centres.
To set up a special extermination gala event for the top 100 UK Artists.
All events will run concurrently
To kill those artists using nerve gas and dispose of the bodies in landfill.
In each case I will reveal my plan to the assembled audience much the same way as Ian Fleming’s Goldfinger spells out his attempt on Fort Knox to his semi-unwitting accomplices (and then kills them). There is no need for this, I just want to do it.

Requirements for elimination of lesser artists.

1. The lure.
a. It is intended that this lure will also generate some funding (see match funding)
b. It will take the form of a conference entitled “Fairness in the Arts” and an open art exhibition offering the largest prize ever from such an opportunity. A submission fee of £5 will be charged. This represents one of the cheapest open exhibitions on the market and should prove popular.
c. The prize of £1,000,000 will of course never be collected.

2. Advertising.
a. Full page spreads in all of the major art publications (commissioned articles in Art Monthly, Art Review and Artists Newsletter)
b. A website and online advertising.
c. Artists will be able to pay through Paypal.

3. Large spaces in each of the main cities.
a. The hire of a large space with vehicular access
b. There will be spaces in London, Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol, Newcastle, Glasgow, Portsmouth, Cardiff, Nottingham and Cambridge.

4. The Coupe de Grace.
a. On the day of the art delivery and conference the artists will be gathered in a large hall facing a video screen.
b. All organisation and ushering will be performed by unwitting henchmen (probably students or recent graduates working on a voluntary/intern basis).
c. Before the presentation they will be invited to join in a mass artwork by climbing into the bodybags provided. (it is not anticipated that everyone will join in, but this should decrease disposal costs.
d. They will watch a video presentation explaining the real reason behind the conference. (video projector and screen)
e. Nerve gas will be released.
f. Once the gas has dissipated the bodies will be collected in trucks and added to landfill.

Requirements for elimination of top 100 artists.

This event will go much in the same way as the above with a few minor differences. It will take the form of a “This is your Life Gala Evening”, each of the artists will be invited with the suggestion that they are to be the centre of the event, this should ensure a better take up.

1. Hire of large room in smart London Hotel.
a. Hire of ushers (interns again)
b. Drinks and refreshments.
c. Building of a stage with facing rows of chairs, television cameras and large video screen.

2. 100 exclusive printed invitations each hand delivered by courier.

3. Hire of a PA to contact Artists. The PA will claim to be from “ITV” and will send invitations by personal letter, email and telephone.
a. The VIP artists will each be invited to attend a ‘Gala event’ at which they are to receive a “This is Your Life” red book.
b. As each will believe they are the centre of attention it is to be hoped they will not be suspicious that so many other artists have attended to congratulate them.
c. As the event will be “a secret” it is unlikely that there will be any discussion about how the evening is likely to unfold.

4. Hire Michael Aspel or similar tv personality for one night performance.
a. Aspel’s only function will to be to come on stage and introduce the video that will explain the real reason for the evening’s entertainment.
b. Unfortunately Aspel is likely to be a casualty.

5. Body collection
a. It is not anticipated that these artists will be persuaded to climb into body bags but as they are fewer in number this should not slow down proceedings too much.
b. Bodies to be collected by waste disposal company. (possibly offered for medical research?)

Film 18 Adelphi Circus

2010-09-04T08:04:00.005-03:00

A week at work without students has created a horrible inertia in me. It is a strange sort of torture being trapped in a grey empty building waiting for something to happen. It is a cliché to suggest one's workplace is prison like but the architects do seem to have drawn more than a little influence from Alcatraz. At home the bins are still creating problems. The orange sacks we were promised have not yet arrived. Also now without my regular ministrations our downstairs neighbour's bins (not our bins, we have no bins) lurk un-emptied. They sit like vomiting toads waiting to engulf us as we edge past. I have been working a little on future projects. and a little on "career administration". I was glad and a little perplexed to recieve an email from Saison Video in Lille saying that I had been recommended to them and could I send a dvd so they could review my work. I did wonder if they had lost the last one (sent unsuccessfully a few years ago at the same request). Or that perhaps they needed a new coffee mat. Nevertheless I dutifully burnt a massive dvd and posted it off to them. In the studio work has been fitful and has largely involved ruining existing pieces. I have painted what can only be described as "backgrounds" and made some tentative photographic experiments involving airplanes. Though I feel I may be treading over old ground something may come of it. Otherwise I have finally got down to writing my multi-million pound Arts Council Grant, a precis of which I shall publish in the next post.

2010-08-30T16:50:00.001-03:00

While Miss Dover luxuriates in the bath I have taken to browsing the internet for silver powder and new phone tariffs. As usual my current provider O2 seems by far the worse and I will be forced to make annoying changes. Earlier Miss Dover and I put our lives in order with a colour coded chart. It made us much calmer to see the rest of the year laid out before us.

2010-08-30T08:10:00.001-03:00

What the hell is going on? I have woken exhausted again having dreamt I was doing my degree for the fourth time. This is a recurring dream which I usually get upon my return to work. In the dream I know I am repeating my degree and that I am going to do worse than last time. Because of this, depressing thoughts have overwhelmed me and I have decided to stay in bed. I am attempting to raise my spirits by writing snide remarks on Twitter while Miss Dover, that little Allumeuse, tends to her beauty regime next door. I think I may change film 15's title to Panopticon and go hunting for a photo of the moon.

National Service

2010-08-29T17:09:00.001-03:00

Another sleepless night has made me think twice about staying in my beautiful Ipswich flat. Staggering groups of screeching women serenaded me during the drowsy hours between midnight and four by which time the seagulls took up their sweet roundelay. I slept at seven until the bells of St Ignatius called it's worshippers (and myself) to mass. The day has followed in something of a fog and all I have achieved is a little light hoovering, a crossword (which I had to cheat at to finish) and some under the breath grumbling. I need to get back on top of things. Starting tomorrow I must email B about my diy nightmare buildings. Post some films to Hackney for some sort of evening of surveillance and get together some video samples for a curator in Leeds. On top of this I need to find two large lampshades and make an arts council application for One Million pounds. I pray for a quiet night but as I write a crowd of young men are setting out on their night's revelry singing "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday." they are literally chorusing as they do not seem to know the verse.

Film 9 - Glass Tower

2010-08-27T12:50:00.002-03:00

Film 8 - The Treasure House of Bloody Morgan

2010-08-27T12:46:00.001-03:00

Film 5 - The Undertaker's Handbook

2010-08-27T12:21:00.003-03:00

Film 4 - The Man from Lieksa

2010-08-27T12:10:00.002-03:00

The Bins, The Bins!

2010-08-27T10:03:00.008-03:00

This morning Miss Dover and I managed our first visit to the studio in quite a while. This was an event made even more momentous by the toing and froing involved in reaching our destination. My day had already been set off kilter by an argument about the bins. Apparently bins which we have been using for five months now do not belong to our flat but rather to the hairdressers below a service that they pay hundreds of pounds for. I was accused of filling there bins with my rubbish. I pointed out that at most I produce one small bg of rubbish a week and that perhaps the brimful bins may have resulted from the shadowy graphic design agency that sits between us on the first floor. The upshot of this is we have no bins. Nor will we be getting any in the near future. A telephone call to the council revealed that they do not provide bins on our street. If we are lucky we will receive an orange sack. I look forward to it. Anyway this news upset us so much that we both forgot vital materials that needed to be transported to the studio forcing us into a dreaded return trip. I never like going back, it seems such a waste. Nevertheless we eventually made it and while Miss Dover settled down to some painting I set about prising up the foam that had adhered itself so permanently to every surface of my studio (and mopping up the puddle at its centre) I have recorded some of the morning's work, presented below, although I forgot my camera and was forced to use my phone. The last is my first test of the dvds for Pearlville it is proving to be a cacophonic experience. But technically all went well.

More blobs

2010-08-26T16:45:00.000-03:00

Impatient to get on. I unleashed another can of foam filler on a garden shed, garage and telephone box. As I was in my flat I was a little more circumspect than at the studio but I still managed to weld the above outbuildings to my kitchen table.

Film 6 - Billboard Caesar, Salford Syrup & Bang-tail Shuffle

2010-08-26T15:34:00.004-03:00

The Untitled

2010-08-26T14:10:00.003-03:00

I have left film 15 untitled. This was an oversight not an attempt at creating some sort of filmic mythology. Stupidly I deleted all of the also ran titles so I have had to start from scratch. If stumped for much longer I shall resort to a Blue Peter type competition and bear the consequences.

Stills from Pearlville Film 12 - Pellicule

2010-08-25T15:28:00.001-03:00

Proposal for a new Religion in Ipswich inspired by the carrying of two lamps through the town centre

2010-08-25T15:09:00.001-03:00

On the Merits of Brevity

2010-08-25T14:53:00.002-03:00

After briefly showing my face at work I ran away into town to hunt out some standard lamps for my forthcoming show :

I was continuing to shrink, to become... what? The infinitesimal? What was I? Still a human being? Or was I the man of the future? If there were other bursts of radiation, other clouds drifting across seas and continents, would other beings follow me into this vast new world? So close - the infinitesimal and the infinite. But suddenly, I knew they were really the two ends of the same concept. The unbelievably small and the unbelievably vast eventually meet - like the closing of a gigantic circle. I looked up, as if somehow I would grasp the heavens. The universe, worlds beyond number, God's silver tapestry spread across the night. And in that moment, I knew the answer to the riddle of the infinite. I had thought in terms of man's own limited dimension. I had presumed upon nature. That existence begins and ends in man's conception, not nature's. And I felt my body dwindling, melting, becoming nothing. My fears melted away. And in their place came acceptance. All this vast majesty of creation, it had to mean something. And then I meant something, too. Yes, smaller than the smallest, I meant something, too. To God, there is no zero. I still exist!

I have begun to realise that such a title brings with it certain difficulties. If people ask me what my show will be called I will have to pull out a card (and not a small one). I caused the Axis "events" form to melt down when I pasted it in to the title box and only a strangely truncated version appears now. Nevertheless I have waded this far and might as well carry on. I found two perfect lamps rather quickly in the Heart Foundation charity shop a place where the foundation kindly gives it's most physical jobs to those in most danger of a sudden myocardial infarction. Unwilling to carry both across town myself I called upon Miss Dover to assist. The sight of two people carrying a large lamp each along the main street caused such a stir and feelings of public unity as to make me think the people of Ipswich would benefit from a return to a religion with a degree of pomp and ceremony.

2010-08-24T15:16:00.003-03:00

I have started the process of naming the 17 films that make up Pearlville. Through a process of suggestion, automatic reading, and desperation I have carefully matched each film with a title. The titles won't be on the films themselves and no doubt due to inevitable feelings fear and regret they will change many times. I am still not sure about 6, 11, 17 & 18. The images below are from Bonny and Clyde
Film 1 - Underling
Film 2 - Workhouse
Film 3 - Aquaduct
Film 4 - The Man from Lieksa
Film 5 - The Undertaker’s Handbook
Film 6 - Billboard Caesar, Salford Syrup & Bang-tail Shuffle
Film 7 - The Dropper and the Dip
Film 8 - The Treasure House of Bloody Morgan
Film 9 - Glass Tower
Film 10 - Embankment
Film 11 - The Last Man on James Street
Film 12 - Pellicule
Film 14 - Marlene’s Butler
Film 16 - Flight Time
Film 17 - Bonny and Clyde
Film 18 - Adelphi Circus

2010-08-23T17:11:00.000-03:00

I am very very tired. The reason for my lack of sleep last night was a precipitous return to work. The annual recall to the office always seems too early after an adventurous summer and this year has been no exception. Many of my colleagues (more eloquent than I) have taken to referring to the office as "The Shitter" a name that seems to have stuck. One of my first tasks this morning, after the usual welcome back meeting, was to arrange some time off to return to Manchester for the install of "Unspooling". This is not usually too difficult a task as those in the Shitter are always keen to give each other a leg up. Unfortunately the week I need to escape coincides with the first real teaching of the year and I face leaving my eager neophytes with a note saying "back next week". The fear in these situations is not that they will be missing out but rather that they might have a better time without me. Otherwise things are progressing well. I am half way though burning the DVDs and have begun the arduous task of thinking up titles. I don't intend to put them on the films but like amnesiac foundlings I think they should have a name of some sort. Miss Dover (after a Bloody Mary) has been a great help although some of her suggestions have been a little wild. "Coconut Corkscrew" especially so.

Packages

2010-08-22T10:14:00.001-03:00

It is astounding the number of spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, formatting gaffes and just plain bad writing one can squeeze into a document of 40,000+ words. On Friday I spent a full day in a London café marking up such errors in my so called novel. I have no doubt I have missed many more but quite frankly I've had enough. The final draft has been despatched to the printers, everything is now beyond my control.

This shelf in a local charity shop cheered me up no end. I am thinking of slipping my book in for a photo op.

Miss Dover and I have had a number of other deliveries at our Ipswich flat. These have included a number of books and DVDs, a golden falcon, a number of pendants with kittens on them, boards and oil paint, a garden shed, garage and telephone box. The hairdressers below who receive most of these parcels for us are beginning to look harrassed.

2010-08-18T14:20:00.001-03:00

Miss Dover, who will also be exhibiting at TAP has chosen a far more concise title for her show "Whistlejacket". Yesterday she sent me a photograph of how she wishes to be represented in a forthcoming Hollywood Biopic.
(she has a cat called Pig)

2010-08-18T13:30:00.005-03:00

I am very excited. As well as getting ready for Unspooling my solo show at Tap is also coming together (at least in my head). I have decided on the title which (in part) is already up on the TAP website. I have located a chair (in need of a little repair) on which my novel will be placed and chosen the other works (mostly) that I wish to show. I have also made a new piece for the show which will be erected by the AA on the site marked on the photograph below.

The title of my show is:

I was continuing to shrink, to become... what? The infinitesimal? What was I? Still a human being? Or was I the man of the future? If there were other bursts of radiation, other clouds drifting across seas and continents, would other beings follow me into this vast new world? So close - the infinitesimal and the infinite. But suddenly, I knew they were really the two ends of the same concept. The unbelievably small and the unbelievably vast eventually meet - like the closing of a gigantic circle. I looked up, as if somehow I would grasp the heavens. The universe, worlds beyond number, God's silver tapestry spread across the night. And in that moment, I knew the answer to the riddle of the infinite. I had thought in terms of man's own limited dimension. I had presumed upon nature. That existence begins and ends in man's conception, not nature's. And I felt my body dwindling, melting, becoming nothing. My fears melted away. And in their place came acceptance. All this vast majesty of creation, it had to mean something. And then I meant something, too. Yes, smaller than the smallest, I meant something, too. To God, there is no zero. I still exist!

2010-08-18T07:03:00.004-03:00

The last two days have been taken up burning DVDs for Unspooling. each of the Pearlville films must be looped several times with varying volumes to allow them to come in and out of aural focus (I think I made this up) In reality as they are all different lengths and I have no desire to get into the drudgery of precise cueing sometimes they will all shout together or all whisper. Whatever happens I am sure it will seem planned though I do fear for the sanity of the invigilators. I also made a trip to the studio yesterday armed with a can of expanding filler. I had hoped to conjure something magical with a few well aimed squirts but as usual my manual skills did not quite match my imagination. It is fearfully sticky and sloppy stuff and my studio now has fungal growths where it previously had not. Still I made a couple of sculptures which I hope M will like

2010-08-16T15:28:00.002-03:00

This is the one.

2010-08-16T08:20:00.002-03:00

I have been searching for a style for my neon sign. A few years ago I derided the ubiquitous neon artworks to be found at Frieze. Now I find myself quite excited by them although I don't like any of those pictured here. In addition to this I have been getting a quote from the AA for yellow sign for my show at Tap. I haven't told Amy McKenny yet.

2010-08-16T05:30:00.000-03:00

I have received the first proof of my "artist's novel" I say artists novel because it lowers expectation. It is exceedingly bricklike and I like the shiny cover All I need to do now is proof read it again an idea that fills me with ennui.

2010-08-15T14:06:00.003-03:00

Planning has begun. The room in which Pearlville is to be housed is to be painted a different colour to the rest of the gallery space. I have sent three swatches to Mr Bracey. The colours are sampled from video footage taken when my cameras are running out of battery. I prefer the second and third.

Pearlville in Progress - photos - Andrew Bracey

2010-08-15T14:02:00.001-03:00

2010-08-15T13:30:00.003-03:00

We are home now listening to a karaoke sounding rendition of a Rolling Stones classic emitting sporadically from the local pub. The lifestyle here is very different from that at Islington Mill and to some extent Miss Dover and I miss it. At our talk in the Cornerhouse Annex Mr Moisander and I were asked about our feelings about the Mill, we paused. This is not to say we had a bad time, we did not. We had a fabulous intense time and were looked after impeccably and generously by our hosts: Mr Carlin, Mr Campbell, Mr Bracey, latterly Mr Griffiths and also Miss Perks, Mr Harold, Miss Chan, Miss Leech and the other members of the team at Cornerhouse. But we did create for ourselves a sort of living hell. Here and now after a long sleep and a hot bath I am almost at last relaxed and beginning to pick up the strands of other projects and the loose ends that will need to be tied up before Pearlville can be unveiled.

Going through my photographs I have realised that I missed out many things in previous reports. I shall catch up with these details over the next few days.

This image of Mr Bracey's studio at Suite doesn't quite pick out a series of cutout images from saleroom catalogues. Throughout the two weeks he would always be just coming from, or just going to attend to these intricate images.

2010-08-12T08:29:00.001-03:00

I laid out my clothes for the day this morning. It was a complicated choice because they would have to last me until my In Conversation this evening. I opted for grey tweed trousers, black socks and a light blue Seersucker short sleeved shirt. An outfit I deemed both comfortable and smart. Seeing the clothes laid out reminded me that I had returned two nights ago to my room to find Miss Dover sitting up in bed wearing the very same shirt. She had said she was cold. I put it on and noticed a red tomato stain down the front. It seems Miss Dover had been hungry too.

I am now waiting in a little cafe waiting for Mr Bracey. We are to visit the Chinese Arts Centre before heading to the Cornerhouse.

2010-08-11T13:27:00.003-03:00

I am reading two books at the moment. I should be preparing for tomorrow's talk at the Cornerhouse where I have to do a presentation. It is only 20 minutes (the presentation) so I have been frantically cutting down my usual talk. Anyway the two books are: "The Lost World of Cliff Twemlow" and "Live and Let Die" Actually I have stopped reading the latter due to the embarrassment caused when reading it in alone in a Manchester restaurant. It was racially more than a little dubious to begin with, but when I turned the page to a new chapter entitled "Nigger Heaven" I felt as if a neon sign had lit above my head. My ensuing panic as the waitress appeared to take my dessert order caused my already wobbly table to buck spilling at least 50ps worth of my Martini. Hopefully Twemlow's lost world will prove to be safer.

2010-08-11T12:47:00.005-03:00

The editing is more or less complete with 18 films on my hard drive. My thoughts have now turned to how the work will be shown. The plans so far are that a room will be built on the second floor of The Cornerhouse. That a Neon sign declaring "PEARLVILLE" will be placed flickering outside the room. That the room will be filled with old television sets and supporting furniture and that all the films will be played at once each vying with the other for attention. All I need is a room, a sign, television sets, dvd players and furniture.

As is usual I completely forgot to take production stills while making Pearlville (largely due to boyish excitement) So this afternoon I was forced to make a series of faked publicity images (some are below). As is usual with these things they show shots I would have liked in the actual films but somehow they never appeared.

2010-08-11T05:42:00.007-03:00

Yesterday started badly and ended mediocrely. The middle went well. I was full of excitement because my Helium arrived early transported in an unmarked silver van by a man who would not have looked out of place in GBH (the Twemlow straight to video spectacular). It was not long before I had a camera floating on a large balloon and was making plans to allow it to float gently around the mill. I set it on the spiral staircase and turned back to check reception. All was well it had accosted a young lady on the next floor and was drifting slowly downwards.

Then without warning the balloon gathered speed. Twisting violently in the grips of an unseen force it headed towards the light and the signal was lost. Dropping the receiver I ran down the stairs but it was gone floating across Salford. I gathered Mr Bracey, Mr Griffiths (returned from a yurt in wales) and Miss Dover for a search. But the only evidence we could find was the following image posted later on Twitter.

Later filming went better. Though more than once I had to dive to stop my backup camera following its predecessor. There follow a few images from the so far unedited footage.

The day ended with a little light entertainment at The Cornerhouse. Miss Dover and I managed to acquire complementary tickets for Gainsbourg mainly by mentioning names at random until the vendor recognised one and was hypnotised into handing them over. Giant puppets apart, it was a drab monotonous film in which the protagonist certainly had a lot more fun than the audience.

2010-08-09T16:12:00.002-03:00

Miss Dover and I decided to take a day away from the Mill today and visit my parents who live nearby. My washing had reached critical state and we were looking forward to a belated Sunday lunch promised on our last meeting. Film production has ground to a halt as I am awaiting for a delivery of helium gas and potassium ferricyanide. It should arrive tomorrow. We had an enormous roast lunch and a good deal of white wine and gin and tonic. There must be a study somewhere on increased alcohol consumption in artists in residence. It seems to be on a par with UN operatives in war zones. After lunch we returned to the Cornerhouse for a meeting with Dr Andrew Willis Reader in Film Studies at the University of Salford, expert in the films of Cliff Twemlow, and Sarah Perks who will be leading the 'In Conversation' on Thursday. I managed to escape with only one beer drunk as I thought I might need my wits about me later. I had promised to help Mr Moisander extract HD video files from my camera, not a simple task.